Dave 'The Heartbreaker' Eggers, who owns the very prestigious if not most-prestigious title of being just the second ever living player, was drafted into the Novel-T league in the spring of 2011 at the embryonic age of 42.

Eggers, while being proud to join the American Canons as the team's first living player, isn't too proud, because he knows pride can come off a little smug, and he's not smug, but also he's not too too un-smug about it, either, or rather not too la-di-da or unappreciative of the opportunity to prove himself, because he is after all a very hard worker and worked very hard to be here and while he doesn't judge those athletes who just have tons of natural talent and seem to perform so beautifully without ever even trying, there's nothing wrong with trying and in the end it would be kind of self-consciously smug to pretend to be totally un-smug about the whole thing.

Eggers, the league's best switch-hitter, is in the process of learning how to become a switch-thrower and -catcher as well.

'Aye, he's a bit of a youngster, Mr. Eggers is,' said the team captain, Ahab, 'and I don't always catch the cut of his jib. But the lad can hit! Puts a lot of time in the cage, he does. And a nice mop of hair on him, too.'

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